HaiNow Part I: Exchange Programme to Shanghai Jiao Tong University

  by   Friday, July 31, 2026   No comments

I paused a moment when a single notification popped out from Nabila Ramiza, my Indonesian good friend whom I met in China. 

 “Ting! Nabila Ramiza liked your post story” 

You know that feeling when it’s about a time you suddenly find yourself wandering down a memory lane? 

A day before my birthday, 17 March 2026 is my birthday. I supposed to fly to China from Shanghai Pudong International Airport for an academic exchange programme hosted by Hainan International Medical Center (HMIC). This time as an independent postgraduate student travelling without my supervisor, Dr Wee.

My flight was scheduled at 7.05 am from KLIA. Before my departure time, I was accompanied by my Dad. Together we both looked up a place to get our suhur (سحور). Yes, it was my first-ever solo travelling during Ramadhan… and I was genuinely excited.

Everything seemed to fall perfectly in place that early morning — the peaceful drive before dawn, the little talks with Dad, sharing suhur together, and got to experience the rukhsah of fasting in Shanghai before my arrival to Haikou. All felt surreal in one-combo — nervousness, excitement, and gratitude.

That early morning, I boarded with China Eastern Airlines. My honest expectation was simple. I would probably be seated between the Chinese passengers. So, I quietly kept to myself, minding my own business because starting conversations with strangers has never really been my strongest skill especially in Mandarin.

But life had a different plan.

To my surprise, I found myself sitting next to a friendly, gentleman Malaysian Chinese uncle. He smiled politely and started asking me the typical travel questions.

“U mau pergi mana?”

“U daripada mana?”

"U tinggal mana?"

“U puasa?”

The conversation flowed much more naturally. As a Malaysian, I should have expected this — our Malaysian Chinese uncles are known for their warm and friendly attitudes  — the type of uncles who can easily strike up a conversation with almost anyone, even a complete stranger sitting next to them on a flight 😉

He shared that he was from Puchong, and on his way to Japan, with a transit in Shanghai before heading to Tokyo. His daughter had recently completed a Japanese preparatory programme and was about to begin her Chemical Engineering studies in Kyoto. He was making a visit to help her settle down and move into her new place.

To clear things up, I showed him an offer letter I was carrying in my bag. Seeing the Shanghai Jiao Tong University, School of Medicine, he looked at me and asked,

“Doctor?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“No… not yet. I’m just a PhD student.”

For a moment, I think he gave me a little more credit than I actually deserved. After that, the cabin grew quiet again. We both settled back into our seats, enjoying the peaceful flight in our own way. 

Oh, I caught a glance of him, setting up games on his phone to play something similar to Candy Crush — Yes, very typical Asian Dad 😏

As for me?

Well… I’m the type of traveller who treats every flight like an opportunity to catch up on sleep.

So yes, I spent through a good portion of the flight... sleeping.

And now, my Part I ended here without the full story how I met Nabila Ramiza in China. Stay tuned. More stories are coming.


Collaboration beyond borders

  by   Thursday, July 30, 2026   No comments

I am a  week away from labwork. 

No PCR. No ligation. No cloning. No colony PCR to think about. Just to take a break from routine that had slowly become exhausting — at least for now hehe… 

Oh, I have an announcement! We finally have a baby nephew! I decided to pay him a visit while I am in KL until next week. Cute little guy is now a month-old :)

From July 28 onward, I was glued to my phone, knowing that my supervisor, Dr Wee whatsapped me during my short escape to Genting Highlands…

“Mana awak?” 

I couldn’t help but putting a nervous smile when I read to his message.

“Dr saya takde”

A simple and straight-forward reply because I assumed he was just checking up on me. No urgency indeed.

That tomorrow morning he sent me a link for S. oneidensis MR-1 mutant strain deposited in the University of Tuebingen, Germany. 

https://www.u-017-s125.v263.uni-tuebingen.de/labor/index.php/Shewanella_oneidensis_MR-1_mutants

My first thought it feels surreal to think that a project which started in our lab could now involve discussions that cross continents. The possibility of working with researchers from another country that I never imagined. 

In our research group, we have made several attempts to establish international collaborations from India, China, Thailand and Japan. Well, many of those ended up halfway, maybe because the projects (which I assume now) were not fully aligned to our research objectives at the time. 

I remember on one occasion when my supervisor invited me to join Zoom meeting with UM and Dr Muammar from University of Tuebingen. The discussion was centered around my project. It was my first opportunity to explain my CRISPR/Cas9 work to Dr Muammar. We exchanged a few ideas and discussed the objectives of our projects. As far as I can recall, his work involved in pyrite minerals, which was quite interesting to me because my junior, Siti also worked on something similar last time. But the session wasn’t very that long because a professor from UM wanted to arrange a more formal follow-up Zoom meeting with the UM Dean. So, we had to continue the discussion another time.

Research has a funny way of bringing people together. Different expertise, different perspectives, and different experiences often lead to better ideas than working alone. That’s what excites me the most about this collaboration for now — not just the science, but the opportunity to build networking from people beyond borders that could eventually support my future plan into postdoctoral research after PhD.

Inspiration in Dr. Tan

  by   Wednesday, July 29, 2026   No comments

Recently, I found myself reading Dr. Tan's writings on his juggling lab life, and I have to admit...

"I was impressed!"

There was something about the way he shared his thoughts, his journey, and his experiences that caught my attention. Yes, I rarely get impressed by people, but this time he humbled me down the earth.

Oh, we met at UTM, Johor Bharu. It was an unexpected encounter because he was one of my evaluators during my first-ever participation in an innovation exhibition and competition. 

And I still remember how humble he was while evaluating my work on molecular experiments — especially when discussing biosafety and ethical considerations. My first impression of him... he looked like a very senior researcher — reserved and serious together with the other two evaluators from UTM and UMPSA.

"Alamak habis la...taknak, taknak, taknak"

And I delivered my presentation nervously... knowing that my project was still at an early stage. I didn't have any fancy prototype, or tangible outcome to showcase yet. All I had were carbon steel corrosion demo in vials — something that probably looked ordinary and, BORING.

But what stayed with me was how Dr. Tan approached my project. He didn't judge it simply based on what was physically in front of him. Instead, he looked deeper into the science, asked meaningful questions, and gave attention to the thought process behind the work I done. I actually forgot the exact details he commented. But it mostly on the CRISPR editing methods and how long my primers were designed. Hmm…

After the evaluation session, I asked him for a photograph, which I wanted to share under Dr. Wee’s biosafety committee network.

So yes, that moment of inspiration stayed with me. And honestly, I'll keep growing and carry the same passion that I saw in Dr. Tan’s.


Yikes who reviewed this? what of this, I don't know

  by   Saturday, November 18, 2023   1 comment

Hurrayyy!!! 

Cuti Deepavali, dah habis, apa lagi!
mari pulang ke sarang hulu! woohoooo!!!

oh yeah, ada lab Biomole next week.

damn.

Last night I slept quite late due to 1-3 hours X scrolling (formerly, Twitter.... why la Elon Musk bagi nama X) along with anak bulus of mine, ada 4 ekor. All 3 anak oyens and 1 black. The oyens memang lasak. Serious. Kalau I mak kucing, memang I gigit dorang like crazy and cakap, "ok jangan nakal yer oyens, nanti bibik marah...

Anyway... I had anxious thoughts la while scrolling X. Before I get to untangle my anxious thoughts tuh, I have to rewind sikit and story pasal my dunia research.

My research background is about microbial corrosion. Every week, within 2 or 3 days I would have a comprehensive discussion with my lecturer, Dr Q prior to my masters research project. A year FYP project + 2 years of fully research = at least 3 years, culminating in microbial corrosion literature, I noticed something was amiss sampai la waktu sekarang. "Why do I have a bravery claiming something like that?"  was what I thought.. then I stalked Godfather Lovley kat X (yer beliau tidak la lovely seindah nama).

oh. noo. mampus.

Godfather Lovley: Yikes who reviewed this? - ISMEJournal. 

Punya la I baca tweet Godfather tu I jadi seram! For me, it was such an argumentative declaration!!! alamak!

I pernah tanya kat Dr Q, "Godfather tu siapa?" and he said, "dia tu boss kepada boss I masa study PhD kat Georgia dulu. Godfather tu something like celaka! whenever Godfather published Q1 papers pasal microbial corrosion, end up Dr Q wassap I suruh baca + digest + analyze + present paper tu since we're progressing as similiar to that particular topic juga. So macam tu la discussion kiteorg. Kiteorang suka discuss arguments in whatever topic released by Godfather to improve our critical thinking pastu....... ok jom publish topic ni I want you to draft manuscript of all your results then, we will decide yang mana nak kena publish. Maka saya lagi panic!  

Ain how's progress? Ain email me your draft - takut sebab my results with opposing hypotheses to Godfather's. IT WAS A BIG NO!!!

so panic panic, plus apa yang PM Dr. Hazwan comment during viva voce haritu lagi la I rasa results ni memang tak boleh pergi jauh punya and possibly get rejected!

haih..

what to do? what to do ek?



P/S: criticism in academia...=B

COVID-19 pandemic

  by   Saturday, April 25, 2020   5 comments


I still stuck at my current place, thousand miles away from home while it's on lockdown before the Government extends MCO by another two weeks to May 12. Not sure with the idea of bringing students back to their home but yet, still I'm one of them. On one hand, distancing dearself in two bedded room, away from the public menace with fellow sissy staying on Aras 1 is just a prescription for happy pills. On one hand, being far away from the loved ones on this pandemic makes me misses them more.

I'll be back after the pandemic, i promise xoxo

My dear, Four Feet

  by   Friday, February 14, 2020   No comments


We feel the immediate absence of our feline pet, Uteh as he left us through unknown hidden pain he dealt with, till his very last breath at home.  


Uteh is such the best companion of ours through his unconditional love and acceptance —He would greet us at the gate when we return home. He even sent us away to the car when we were about to leave him for a few days for balik kampung (he can understand our certain word and action sounds mean).

In his lifetime, if I pat the floor for several times, he respond well by lowering his body to the ground, exposing his tummy to be rubbed. Then I heard the soft purring bundles of warm, leaving at his vocal cords when he exhales and inhales. I feel calmer and more peaceful afterwards. That feeling of contentment he share with me becoming a warm place to love him more. 

I just came back home for a month of semester break when I was told by ibu he was sick. As a result, he seemed thinner compared to the previous last three months when I saw him —He had a healthy body weight and muscles toned and strong. 

We first noticed his eyes. He got his both pupils blown and always dilated like completely round in the day. We were surprised by his sudden eyes damage and vision loss when he slowed walking to the kitchen and hit one of the counter like he saw nothing ahead.

Uteh acted differently in his last days as such he skipped meals, he would sit and stay at one corner alone. No more bird hunting, no more self-grooming rather putting himself in solitude, away from his other siblings. Ibu was the one whom care Uteh at most during his last days on Planet Earth. Then, we would know that his time has come. At time passed, I got to rub your head for the very last time. 


I'll miss you for a little while, Uteh.

With great power comes great responsibility

  by   Thursday, February 13, 2020   No comments
1. Citing Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben in Spiderman to someone I used to know who bears great power and influence beyond others in our organization, reminds me of great responsibility he must endure through time.

2. In the old days I played jokes on one of my best companion that I wished to marry a royalty. Yes, every girl dream of marrying princes charming and becoming princesses. Thanks to fairytales like Cinderella — ‘And they lived happily ever after.’

3. Marrying a prince would make you his princess. At least, that was been told in our childhood from generations to remind the girls that the handsome and charming prince always belong to the girl who behaves with the utmost courtesy towards everyone she meets.

4. However in this modern era, an actual real-life prince is difficult to find. Considering you have mutual friends with royalty or sharing connection among them then, it can be reconsidered to find one just like Kate and Prince William.

5. Prince or no prince maybe some of us might just happen to bump into men that hold powerful positions in political, economic and even social power. And maybe some of us might just happen to bump into average men yet still they play huge role in society, workplace as well as household because man is likely to associate with power compared to woman.

6. Realising every successful man there stands a strong woman. A man with great power comes great responsibility as well as YOU, WOMAN. There's a mother's hard work, a wife's support perhaps a sister well wishes for our beloved men.

SALAM SAYANG

THE-NOT-SO-NEW-YEAR 2020

  by   Saturday, January 04, 2020   No comments
2020 —welcoming a fresh decade with spectacular firework display to the skies from around the globe! While me, sitting on meja belajar, having guts about exam in new year & January.   

Pls send help.


issa wraaaapp!

  by   Saturday, December 14, 2019   No comments
Halu elibedi, long time no see, sorry for the long hiatus mode. I got messed up in the 5th semester regarding our never-ending mini project(s) and that when the 1st half semester of the 3rd year is about to end, I couldn't be more grateful with the blessings of good the lab soulmates. For sure, they are the perfect balance of responsible and laid back.

The tight schedule and the out numbered mini project is doesn't matter when it comes to you guys. Speaking of mini project, who knows that we got 4 of 'em no no no I mean 5 including hygiene which I thought gonna be kacang hijau but it simply not. Oh why I always thought that hygiene gonna be easy peasy, though I'm not even good in memorizing facts. hukhuk

Uuuu muka anak3 lab function buat bioprocess kecuali yg tudung kaler biru :p

Semester 5 is such an intense, exhilarating and terrifying experience .... Why I said so?? Jeng jeng jeng

1. Lots of mini project regarding on how to cultivate culture. When I mean "cultivate" it really means cultivating the microbes. You know that even you got 11 brains in the group but only 7 to 8 of  'em really worked well and could figure out things to do next. Somehow, I felt that I'm not even helping as much as I could, hehehe even my brain is also malfunctioned as well, Hiks.

Also, I learnt that this one guy, my partner lab, Rafique or Rafi Que you see, I speak with most of his name ends with a Q like pronunciation. It was Nawwal who started to tease by calling him Rafi Que, the solid 'Q' at the end by his name, then you gotta see he's blushing out of sudden sebab kena usik dengan budak perempuan hahaha.

Oh speaking of Mr. Rafi Que, for me he's a mad genius! He usually prefers silence to saying the something which isn't being asked in the first place except when Sarah, she's the one who led the mini project would urge him to contribute his valuable piece of mind to solve troubles regarding our mini project which gave us continuous headache sometimes.

2. This girl, Zana who is two years older than me got her own way to make me chilled some of the time when the experiment went intense pain. But, Zana really took it chill in her own style. She's such a chilled-type of lab partner but I think selamber suits her well because she's down for anything. Tak takut, tak gentar, tak kusut walaupun ribut datang membadai. Kahkahkah ayat macam tak boleh nak hiperbola lagikan bunyik


Zana time ginilah hang nak buat boomerang ala-ala penampakan kelibat bergerak.

Thing to say is that I really enjoyed every second of her accompany during our working on mini project. Things get confused sometimes, but when with her, "You don't know the next step?? Just wing it." Hahahaha sounds the way too chill Zana but never mind, it worth my babygurl!

3. Thanks to Sarah. For awhile now we have been putting into the same group since our Biochemistry in the 2nd year. Being Sarah, she's considered a beauty with brain. Not that hottie gurlzz who likes to wear make up on the face every single time they got to go to classes. Sarah is just like a Melayu tulen, for sure, she's ayu, got her own beauty ala-ala gadis Terengganurians who speak with most of 'g' like pronunciation dekat belakang but indeed garang. Heck ... even the best joke I ever tried to slip in about Terengganurians speaking, "kalau pinggang korang pronounce macam mana ek?? Dia bluetickkan aku weh.. hmmm sedih T_T

4. Anger issues. Oh this one doesn't relate with Rafi Que, Sarah, Zana, Nawwal, etc rather lab partners from bioproduct. The work still has to get done but miscommunication occurred over the simplest task like, who want to pick up our dried c. odorata leaves from oven at 8 am??

Thank you Dr. Rosma and Dr Wan atas tunjuk ajar yang tak berbelah bahagi & Tenkiu for the vote! :)


All in all, it worth all the effort. We won 2nd place for both mini project and dapat bawak balik dua hamper besaq banyak cekedis for a week lagi-lagi sekarang musim hujan kat Kelantan ni. Nom nom nom

Am one of the Nicksters

  by   Monday, November 04, 2019   No comments
Haven't written much, lately. Despite having extremely hectic magical days ongoing mini project with the colleagues, turned out we had a tight schedule to get this mini project done. I boleh estimate dalam 2-3 hari minggu yang lepas, I cuma ulang-alik lab tingkat 3, just to record the microbes profile growth. Bak kata Anggun dalam instastory beliau, our routine fixed with visiting anak-anak kat taska. Here, we need to grow our own culture strain for a week-long mini project as if they were our anak3, much made us kelam-kabut for the first six weeks of the 5th semester. All said, I'm too occupied by them that I couldn't spare the time with my precious Tangled Thoughts.

Only, yes, again, to do some reports regarding the lab work. sobs

Last weekend was a hectic one. Spent my last four-day weekend by sitting on meja belajar, doing on the individual discussion in the middle of the night. But, my brain can't work best without playing a background music of Only Human by Jonas Brothers. It was just like my body response to the music and felt the rythm in my head. Then, I found myself foot tapping at the same time nodding the head. And might sometimes accompany with dancing while singing along to it. Singing, a karaoke, so called karok by dak3 hipster nowadays rather than paying 100% fully attention to get my reports done.

Motif?

I did the fangirling thingy over past 7 years ago when I was 15. By the time I was drowning deep with Adam Levine in Maroon 5 (listen! he's a super super good looking, considered his squared-jaw, tallness, etc) Gorgeous wei! and he's a very good singer as well. Over time, however, as you get older, you tend to see more, do more and explore more. I may seem to have slightly change in Maroon 5 music taste. Sorry bro, the ship has sailed.

Now, say hello to JoBros for their hit single, music video of  "Only human" and, lemme tell ya, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE 80'S GROOVY BOP IN THEIR CONTENT.

But I find the real star, of course, Nick who served up 80's hotness by wearing silkiest button-downs with his flyest retro sunglasses and his hilarious window shenanigans!

Like this! 

You'll understand once you play the video below. 


Needless to say, this music video was so goooodd and I've already watched it up to 20 times! Xoxoxo bye



Mind wanders

  by   Sunday, October 20, 2019   No comments
Today's lecture sangat menusuk kalbu. I can tell that all my coursemate would feel the same as I did, but the Guy-With-A-Gummy-Smile, THIS GUY OMG! turned out to be seorang yang mudah terhibur pada hari kejadian barangkali since I heard him gelak terbahak-bahak during the enzyme class when it comes to enzyme teaching by Dr. Aini. Those enzyme jokes never get old, is it.

Today's lecture seems to be out of topic. Instead we were being taught on lignocellulosic enzyme, the lecturer brought us to think outside of the box for a while regarding the bioconversion of lignocellulosic biomass from waste to wealth. If people asked me is there something to do between the lignocellulosic enzyme and the biomass, I would simply take a few minutes to think. Think ain think!

My random, general answer got to be lignocellulosic enzyme is a degrading enzyme used in plant dry matter, so called lignocellulosic biomass. As you can see, the word enzyme itself represents an important role in breaking down complex molecules into its monomer, so called the simpler molecule. Meanwhile the word lignin and cellulose referred to a complex organic polymer deposited in plants cell wall to which they supply the strength and rigidity of plant walls.

Yeah, bla bla bla bio stuff -,- so what?

Ok continue. The major plant cell walls however consist of three main lignocellulosic components lignin, cellulose and hemicellulose. These compositions are differed for different types of biomass.  The dense layers of cellulose and hemicellulose are packed by layers of lignin hence, pretreatment is necessary to breaking down the lignin layers in order to expose both cellulose and hemicellulose. So, pretreatment is the first and most important step in lignocellulosic biomass processing. Why so?? Sebab lignocellulosic biomass is considered unfermentable as most of the microbes incapable to degrade it without pretreatment.

(Saya pun bermonolog sejenak, thinking so pretreatment yang macam mana that has to be taken to break down the lignin layers?)

At some point, that was probably one of the reasons why I insisted to go to the today's lecture, listening to enzyme stuffs. LOL

Ya allah, the last time I've so done listening to this part when my bed was calling my name and I insisted to get myself out from, yep my beautiful soft warm bed. You see, the problem was I couldnt get out of bed since the blankets have accepted me as one of their own belongings. Tapi disebabkan saya waras sikit masa tu, saya tetap paksa diri untuk datang lecture.

"Enzymatic hydrolysis has to be efficient, rapid and complete to preatreat the biomass..."

"Enzymes are added to hydrolyze the pretreated lignocellulosic biomass into fermentable sugars including glucose and/or oligomers that can be further converted into valuable products through biological and chemical approaches."

"Ibarat sampah yang dibuang, di kemudian hari boleh menjadi sesuatu yang berguna"

"Same goes to some of you that being a late bloomer in their age group. Cumanya, saya tak cakaplah awak3 ni sampah, kata Dr. Aini kepada anak3 didiknya."

And the whole class laughed towards the statement.

By time the Guy-With-A-Gummy-Smile laughed so hard, something had pierced my heart to such a deep, emotionally statement.

The point is, however, the late bloomers begin to do well in college or at work, they will go from a barely noticed individual to a star. They do not suddenly become smart or talented. And maybe I'm pretty sure that it can be triggered by some other events that happen in a specific period of time. Of course, the transformation from being barely noticed individual to a star isn't due to overnight magic.

Metaphorically, they get to use escalators while you’re taking flight of stairs to your life journey. When you’ve finally reach your final step, it’s supposed to be an accomplishment, right? 

Out of sudden, you know that when the reality hits you out of nowhere. It's just getting hard to pay 100% fully attention without my mind wandering to some other places. Ok berangan lagi dalam kelas.


Muka sama ada jodoh?

  by   Friday, October 11, 2019   No comments
This happened between me and Dr. A during our biannual major event in the university of  *******

(censored sebab I refuse to let people know where am studying, yang dah tahu sila tutup mulut anda guna adhesive tape)

Dalam banyak3 orang, kes Iman kena tarik berlakon untuk berlanggar basikal-moto dengan Chemat, under the scorching sun and getting surrounded by JPAM team, Dr. A came and approached me in his usual style, SMILING TOWARDS HIS FANS.

Then, came this one another guy, surely he hasn't been invited into our circle.

Dr A: *smile* showing some greetings to us.
Kereks: Fuh. Cuak takyah cakap lah, I'm freaking out man!
Dr A: Eh awak berdua muka sama, adek-beradek ke??
Kereks: Hmm taklah Dr.
Dr. A: Muka sama jer, sepupu ke??
Kereks: Pun tak juga. Kiteorg coursemate jer.
Dr. A: Muka macam sama, ada jodoh ni *chuckle to himself*
Kereks: *I were just like, euwww sama ke muka kiteorg?? Aku rasa aku lagi cantek kot compared to 'that guy'*

I'm so done with any wicked games of  'that guy' FULL STOP



Good girl, cursing lesson

  by   Friday, September 20, 2019   2 comments
Good girl has learnt her lesson. 

Nobody expects me to drop some curse words into my language at least every once in awhile because of my innocent-looking yet naive. Remember when I once told everyone, like I literally know 1001 cursing words when things happen??? LOL SHOOT ME I LIED. I might let this one malay cursing word berlegar-legar dalam kepala otak and of course it is out of my knowledge. Because of this one word, I come to realise that I misused it on Instagram without knowing the exact meaning behind it. Malunyaaaa.

I was guilt-ridden at the fact that my most recent Instastory update was misusing the word 'palat' as part of instagram caption of my duo selfie photo of me and Ayu as I thought it got something to do with coffee thingy (?) 

Kopi ku rasa palat, 
Rasanya sangat kelat.

Ugh silly me. 
Lain kali tolong buka kamus dewan, ok.

Dipendekkan cerita during the lab, I received a reply from Ayu, saying that the 'palat' word was actually dirty. So she asked me to remove the post sebab girl swearing isn't cool at all and never will be. Pastu, cuba try teka apa jadi?? Ayu pun tak tahu behind the meaning of 'palat' word in the first place before I decided to type it away on Instagram.

Ah sudah! Kami memang nubis when it comes to the word 'palat' to which it is one of malay cursing word used against people. WHAT. THE. FISH I just learnt the 'palat' word within 3 minutes ago from the most-followed instafamous then, I dare enough to use it openly on social media. Woah ain, you memang naif sangat sangat sangat :p

And apparently, during maghrib-isya prayer we, the housemates usually gathered around kat tingkat bawah to share what we have been up to in a day between classes.

"Aku baru tahu yg palat tu benda tak elok", kata seketul Ayu.

"Aku pun taktahu", kata seketul saya pula.

"Korang taktahu palat tu apa??", Pfffft after all this while, Kiera and Iman know the exact meaning of 'palat' ???

"Pasaipa hang tak tegur yg kami dah pandai mencarut sekarang ni?", kata seketul saya yang kelihatan sangat kereks.

"Yela kiteorg ingatkan kau memang nak mencarut pun. Hhahahahahha", lalu Kiera dan Iman pun ber'hahahaha'

Hihihi... honestly I had no intention of hurting others pun sebenarnya, apatah lagi mencarut sobsobsobs....the most important is that, I've learnt my lesson.

#mindyourlanguage



Math only math

  by   Tuesday, September 10, 2019   No comments
Just checked out my Whatsapp. Turns out my kid bro sent me some numbers of 23,540 minus 96 hundreds.


And garden math with fractions. Brinjal planting (?) But honestly, my eyes only caught the word 'SULIT' at 11pm. (Yes don't give that look when I'm the best-known for sleeping at wee hours of the morning) No wonder I smelled something fishy when I received the reply. Oh! Soalan maths UPSR rupanyer from my adek.


Apparently my kid bro, Amirul is struggling to finish the last leg of the race to the UPSR exam. By the time when he was about to take his maths paper, I was miles away from home to get into a thing they called studying (forgodsake). But you see, the problem with him is that, there's no one he can refer to when he comes to ask for his school worksheets. Except our other sibling, Anis. His three years gap older sister. She helped him, but yet still, he refers me just to double confirm his answer sheets.

So this time, he tends to analyze and compare his answers through all three phases by different people. 

Phase I, he usually gets his math answers approved by some teachers at the school. 
Phase II, he would get Anis to check them again, at home. 
Phase III, the two siblings get through me to finalize the answers for approval via Whatsapp.

Aigooo kids these days.

Everything is only at your fingertips, adek3 

So I ended up becoming my kid bro home tutor for 4 subjects (oh so fun) 

"Monday would be BM" 
"Then, BI should be on Tuesday" 
"Oh yes, Wednesday is the Math Day!" 
"And, of course we do Science on Thursday" 

The best of all, I got ways to annoy him or to get him into trouble if he refused to listen to me— such a mean sister, is it. "You better read some books before I tell ibu or ayah that you're playing mobile legends. Remember, I'm your kakak" *evil grins*

But in all seriousness, my kid bro is undeniably underachieving at school however performed best in bola sepak & sepak takraw. On one more serious note, he even got invited to STL practices for Astro. "Aww bro, you're such a sports guy person but why is your kakak not even good in any sport??" Am I adopted?? omaigard!

As a kakak, all you want to do is to give him all the help that he needs from the beginning. So, here's the thing that I did. We got through all the syllabus in each subject and I prepared him some past years questions to allow him identified the style of UPSR questions. But then, he mostly would ask me for math questions. So why maths?? 


Math ain't easy until you reach the most advance ones, wahai adek3 sekalian :p


Break a leg

  by   Wednesday, September 04, 2019   No comments
As I write this, my dearest adik bongsu is about to sit for his UPSR in less than 24 hours. In my attempt to be a little melodramatic kakak, I told him, "check jawapan lepas habis jawab soalan, paling penting jangan careless."

Such cliche phrases you ever overheard being said back then, betul tak?

A scenario I've been able to witness when it came to my cikgu sekolah rendah over past 9 years ago. She overused those cliche phrases in order to give us a little push for the battle.

I can tell, they were all sweet expressions I ever heard. Today, being the eldest out of 4, it is my turn to say so, to my kid bro and the rest is up to him.


Break a leg, lad!

Y U R ON TUMBLEH BLEH??

  by   Wednesday, August 14, 2019   1 comment
The Tumbleh thingy supposedly best read as TUMBLR.

I don't say bleh bleh bleh

My friend, Danial is shocked to know that I'm on tumblr after all this while. This happened when I was on a Whatsapp conversation with him on our first year in the university. I actually didn't expect him to react that way.

I were just like... "why bro?, is tumblr overrated for a girl like me?"

That was not my very first time intrigued with such question by those guy friends of mine, "kau ada tumblr ke??", "how come u can hv tumblr, ain??", "hehehehe ko buat apa do kat tumblr" with an evil grin on their faces. Being me, I simply couldn't figure out their intention so I chose to act naive, "apa? takfaham lah korang cakap apa"

Dah lelama sket, sel-sel otak mula berhubung. I got the answer already leh.

Last year, I been checked out an online article regarding 'How Tumblr went from being the most porn-friendly social media site to banning porn' on The Verge. As I said earlier, I didn't know anything if Tumblr allowed so much nudes. Pffttt

Speaking of Danial, he exactly suspicious of me, if I ever had looked up for nudes on Tumblr. "aigooo, what Danial what?!" The problem is that Tumblr isn't a pornographic community. It is less likely a combination of Instagram and Twitter which allow users to reblog their content in the form of blog. Ever since I saw one of my schoolmate, signed up Tumblr and reblogged each post regarding motivational/inspirational/islamic quotes, photography, fashion, design and yada yada yada her nice shots on tumblr to which the content of Tumblr itself inspired me alot!

And on one thing, I started to be the nerd who code Tumblr theme for fun at early 13. Not that expert but yet I know lah the closing tags bla bla bla. Coding is just fun as math (for me ye) coz we got to learn the language of computer.

Pastu I macam pikir "best gak Tumblr ni ek", kata seketul saya diusia lingkungan 13 tahun.

The fact that I signed up Tumblr over past 6 years ago. The blog is still available in 2019 (in case if you guys wanna stalk or follow mine, just do whatever u wanna do) but it is more likely to be abandoned for now :p

I rarely log into my Tumblr since most of people i used to know are likely to be on Instagram and Twitter. I guess none of them were on Tumblr or perhaps some don't know if Tumblr ever existed today. So yeah I might have Tumblr but not really into it as much as I spent on Instagram and Twitter.

The point is, it is yourself that control your own Tumblr blog. I personally rarely see such artistic nudes on Tumblr since I shield my dashboard through safe mode and most important, don't ever follow Tumblr blogs that post that kind of adult content. Hhahahah tak marah pun. Just my two cents je tau.

OK, Danial am I being clear?

Nursing sick Alap

  by   Friday, July 19, 2019   2 comments
Just in case you guys thought that i was nursing a baby human named Alap at this young age, you guys are wrong.

Alap is a 8 month-old cat I've been adopted last year and he fell sick when i was in my last week in Kelantan. Remember this guy i posted in here??? He's been so much manja now, especially when he dropped his body to the ground and rolled on his back, exposing his tummy, wanting to be rubbed. I would simply gave him a slight head/tummy rub to show him some gesture of, "You can put trust on me, bro!" then, you gotta see his cuteness overload like this!

Ah, ready to bite your little fingers with my sharp fangs!

But *ahem*, not when he started to scratch and bite me when i was about to treat his open wound. He was no longer cute to me, werk, bad Alap!

Okay, back to my sick Alap. He was truly sick in early July, to be exact — due to the presence of an abnormal lump on his neck (he's currently in healing process). The lump looked less likely a "beguk" and i were just like... "ooh,..kucing pun boleh ada beguk??" Well, at least that was what i been informed by ibu regarding Alap through phone when i was in Kelantan. In fact, i found that dogs might actually be able to get mumps, transmitted from humans but it is very uncommon. But cats?? I can't think of it.


When a dog is exposed to a person who is infected with a viral infection called the mumps, the dog may develop the same infection. This cross-over is very rare, but is known to occur occasionally.

— source, Mumps in Dogs,



Poor you, little boy.

In a meantime, ibu actually noticed something was wrong with Alap due to subtle changes in his behaviour — not be that interested in eating (eat very little), low energy level (seemed to be lying around a lot, sleeping and more tired than usual).

For one thing, it was understandable we would be worried about Alap. By the time i were back home from Kelantan, i found the lump ruptured deep under his skin, creating painful swelling area around the neck and it was getting larger. An abscess should i call, left a small hole through his skin which was kind of gross looking (i could see Alap's bloody trachea/oesophagus, whatever they called, i dont know), directly from my two naked eyes! Luckily, i'm okay of seeing blood in real life and tv, so yeah bring it on!


Open wound caused by skin abscess.

Ooh,...regarding the abscess, it appeared as a swollen spot, pus-filled lump under the surface of the skin bcs of wound infection by bacteria. What more, i assumed that he might had a fight with other cats since he has an access to the outside for mating purpose and then, got himself scratches or bites, either through the claws of another cat or himself (only God knows) thus, resulted in wounds which became infected. So, we went to the vet in order to determine the cause.


Alap received his first advanced treatment by draining the fluid abscess for dead tissue removal beneath the skin in proper sterile veterinary environment. Supposedly, a type of reconstructive skin surgery was required to close over the skin due to a large puncture wound that was left opened. But, i absolutely couldnt afford that skin surgery for him since the vet bills might cost me around RM300 - RM400!! Hence, the vet advised me if i could treat Alap at home by my own without underwent expensive surgery to which i just had to buy some medication and things i need to cleanse the open wound at the nearby pharmacy if necessary.


This gonna be tough, bro!

Cleansing the wound perhaps, would be the crucial part since i must perform the aseptic techniques to minimize the risk of the wound infection. Get everything to be sterilized. The part when i must get my both hands 99.99% of free-contaminants before a salve was applied around the open wound.

Remember when i said, he started to scratch and bite me when i was about to treat his open wound? I actually asked the help from Anis, Amirul or Ikki to "tie" his legs. Not to be mentioned, when Alap couldnt stay still when i dug around in his wound to clean it, otherwise he would struggle to release himself to which it only means he prepared to attack us real quick!...(that's another the whole different story).

Also, he did received an opportunity to wear "cone of shame" for the first time of his life! hhahahaha

Bro why so mad?

Guess what?? Basically i learnt that checked out Alap at the vet had caused me a lot of money. Bless my sick Alap when his open wound could be dealt with at home. What i need to do was checking on the wound for every hour to prevent bleeding from Alap's scratching at it, cleaned and put bandage around his neck like this!



I know, i know sounds complex but within the sem break i've got free time on nursing Alap.

He's still in healing process now. It takes about 2-3 weeks to allow the open wound heal by its own. Still, he tries to take off the bandage around the neck by scratching onto it and i have to put it all over again up to 3 times a day. Oh, please Alap jangan buat hal lagi.



End of semester struggle

  by   Tuesday, July 09, 2019   1 comment
It was the end of semester struggle, where my fellow "unimates" celebrate their freedom. As I scroll through my Instagram, everyone... to be specific, Anggun posting her best pictures of the day, showing how happy she and her cliques were on the end of semester.

Ooh me??? i haven't snap a single picture at all. I mean, we had but one without me.

I don't have any trouble of others uploading their happy faces on Instagram or telling the whole world that you were celebrating the end of semester with your loyal companions. In fact, it was just like a tradition for most people in my uni to celebrate their last day with going somewhere, or makan-makan kepci with their cliques or coursemates. But since Ayu, Kiera and I had our last paper earlier than Kak Iman and Alya, we chose to cancel our mini celebration just to give them some space to get study. Again, i don't see any trouble with it. At least, i didn't have to wasting my time, looking for good places to eat near us. Umm that moment when we hadnt find a good place to eat, what came to my mind was that, "why girls can be so complicated when it comes to where and what to eat?? Hehehe... Toksah malu lah, i used to be like this too but i hate to take one's time just for my own good. On the good side, I didn't have to spend lots of money on eating luxury dishes since we had planned to makan ikan siakap 3 rasa which in my thought the menu was quite expensive for us as students. Thus, i preferred one during makan kat kedai with ayah.

The last two days before the end of semester struggle, i literally exhausted. I was all messed up regarding my last two papers. I thought that Downstream gonna be easy since it was all about facts and conceptual science studies. Hell yeah it was TEDIOUS as not what it seemed to be with hardcore calculation like addmath. In contrast, Physiology could be 10times better as what i expected.

I worked hard for finals till i forgot the exact details about when i should pulangkan my room keys, when to place my bicycle at blok A, list of things to bring home, what to do for the upcoming semester break? It seemed so much kelam kabut pastu sempat lagi main game sampai tidur pukul 4 pagi.

Since i have ended my 2nd year, same goes to what Anggun said on her Instagram, i dont really get into 4th sem compared to the previous one due to some unexpected events, assignment, mini project yada yada yada and when it was stated as "mini" i couldnt agree more. It just a huge one with the complexity of the do's and dont's, certain requirements and scheme to make things absolutely miserable for all of us?? Last minute video preparation, report, report, report and presentation. Those tasks drained up all my energy and yeah 4th sem sucks!



P/S im now at home and it seems my blogging mode has been activated.



How I spent my Raya Puasa

  by   Thursday, June 27, 2019   3 comments
Raya! raya! raya! everybody loves raya. New baju raya, kuih raya, kasut raya, tudung raya and most important duit raya! Surprisingly, being 21 i did received so many duit raya from every houses i visited, it's either belah ibu in Pahang and belah ayah in KL on the first and second day of raya. This time i managed to join my dearest childhood friends from highschool for jalan-jalan raya around Putra Perdana with the absence of Mifit, Kak Jah and Adel —they were at their kampung till D-7 of raya and Mifit? Hehe.. What to expect from her? That woman got her first paper for finals on Monday raya D-6 so yeah i think these three may proceed till the next raya, Hihihi...

Raya in Putra Perdana can be so different compared to last raya. i cannot make it since i had papers to attend in Kelantan. So yeah, this raya gonna be worth i think. Say hi to Fatin, Iffa, Hafizat, Amirul, Qama, Qurr, Lizzy, Uzma, Izzy, Raidah and Hogan. Only this people could make it so far. For the recent update, most of us still pursue studies, mostly into degree and Raidah's doing her diploma intern and Lizzy made her first job experience as civil engineer somewhere in private company near Puchong Jaya.

********TADAAAA!!!!********

Lilysters all grown up version.

Guess it's not too late to say Selamat Hari Raya to warga Internet since Syawal hasn't end yet and they said "raya, kan sebulan" hiks. But the main purpose is that i just realized i never had a proper posting on how i spent my raya in a fully writing form. That is, for Instagram i've done my part by doing so —uploading so many raya photos via instastory. Indeed, for blog i need some of time to write one full posting which required high commitment and inspiration. Geddit?? geddit??

Ok rite. End of beraya with the Lilysters. So i may proceed with the family, shall we??

Raya D-1 the males (Ayah, Iqbal & Amirul) went to Masjid Putra Perdana to perform solat sunat hari raya which means we were basically still at home. About 11am, we went balik kampung to celebrate raya with  our big families in Pahang.

So here's our Raya big family portrait.



I know, i know, right. Iqbal with his turqoise outfit, Amirul's golden yellow, ibu pink, Anis songsang sket and mine purple as similar to ayah's, we are kind of family yang tak sedondon baju raya since ibu doesnt like it. Ibu cakap sedondon macam nak buat marhaban pulak hahhaha.. Tapi takpelah as long as no argument between ayah and the siblings, kiteorg ok je. But next raya we proceed to sama kaler, boleh tak??

Ok we are done about beraya in kampung till raya D-2! say hello to another big families from belah Ayah!


This time, raya in KL gonna be so much different. We hadnt visit to each house of the families during raya but instead of planning to gather at the newlyweds, Abang Yadi and Kak Intan's place somewhere in Hulu Langat. Before our way to Hulu Langat, I snapped this cute moment photo between the kiddos. Anis and Amirul were sleeping soundly at the back of seat. Comel lah sangat, kan :p

The kiddos tido lepas buat bising kat belakang. 

Pic of Anis not-so-called-cute-posing

Anis makan, makan and makan sebalang kuih raya. 

This cute pic of Tok teh ft. his fav cucu Fatehah. 

Remember Baby Fatehah? Nope. I never mentioned about this little cutie before. But, she was the baby i took picture with in this post. The same old Fatehah. Now, a bit chubbier. Hehehe.. she's being the 2nd born to Kak Eijah and Abang Mizie who i get closed to. The D-5 of raya night, when we were about to go back home, Abang Mizie gave me a sampul duit raya filled RM20 just for me! Not to be shared with Anis and Amirul since the two got RM10 for each. I was like... that was so kind of you Abang Mizie. Hehehe orang ganu memang pemurah hati macam ni eh. 

 And... Duit raya?????? 

Right. I made a brave attempt to raya sakan within the study week to which i would call "beraya dalam kegelisahan" and now i suffered enough for the next two papers —Downstrean Processing and Microbial Physiology.

Pray for me guys! Xoxo



Bila hati dah tawar

  by   Monday, June 24, 2019   2 comments
Err haluu?? Is anybody here reading to my another lame blogpost at the end of June?? 

First of all, i need to admit one thing regarding blogging can be So. Much. Boring. i always have trouble with it over past few months since i only had less interaction in the comment section and traffic views. Thus, making me lack of consistency in writing/blogging. I mean NO. Nothing stop me from writing in here. 

Secondly, due to the conflict arises in relationship that make me forgot those days i own a blog and not forget to be mentioned the busyness which I've been claimed in the semester four —4th sem sucks! Well being less a student, i found the title as far away from my excitement to pursue studies into higher levels. In simple word, I've just lost the shine of passion to continue degree. I've no other option rather than quit in the middle of the road (What?! You got 2years of remaining) or else end them all to make my parents proud. For now i would stay with the 2nd optionlah, kan! 

Conflict? Still, i remain loyal to Syakirah, Imanina, Alya and Ayu Nazira since they're all i got in uni and of course they are more than the definition of unimate/roomate/housemate itself —adopted sisters that are created to guide me in healing process (to be a better person from day-to-day). I'm pretty impressed that I'm still sticking to them. To my surprise, I'm no longer care to make my circle bigger due to the hypothesis I clearly made by myself.

The bigger the circle you make, the higher the conflict risk you need to take. 

Duhh...
Aahhhh...

The real conflict arises is that saya dah tawar hati. Tawar hati sebab apa?? Sebab ... malaslah nak pikir. Sekarang tengah final exam so nak focus. Ok this is inappropriate ending post by me after all this time ek. To end this post that doesnt end up with conclusion i would rather say, Selamat Hari Raya yang ke-17 everyone!

Gambar hanya sekadar hiasan. 


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