i've been mentioned like one, two, three, four, five, six thousand times i'm not that into Chemistry but when it comes to this good-looking lecturer, known for his charming smile, get into your class lab and take over the session, you find it so hard to resist his charm and the heart get start to melt.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's call him Dr. A

Like seriously, this is not his very first time took over the class since we had our last lecture on Electrochemistry. Before we haven't meet him yet, there was rumours going around about his handsomeness among the first year students especially the girls, la kan.



Gosh, I've found myself in the same situation! The other day when he entered into the lecture, I would pretty much melt. He's quite simply gorgeous with his charming smile upon his face. He dresses well and has a dry sense of humor.

The most exciting part was in the calorimetry lab. Dr A was in charge for the three courses. As biotech had the most number of students, we were likely to get moved into the next lab which handled by the lab assistant. Ok i envied the other two courses sebab they were lucky to get him under his vision. Anyway, being separated doesn't mean that I can't usyar dari jauh, kan? So, in the lab, after the experiment was done, we were given questions and need to write down the calculation and facts regarding the experiment. Compile those section and submit them by group at 5pm sharp.

It was Sarah and I were in charge for the calculation about the energy released (E) and stuff. We had some misunderstanding specifically on both masses of HCl and NaOH in solid form. Yes, freaking chemistry stuff...... Ok let's skip this part. So, I told Sarah to go ask for Dr. A -he's in the next lab.

And by that I meant, let's go 'usyar' him at the next lab.

P/S are marks deducted for the cover page without the lecturer's name?

i've to tell you in advance in case you've forgotten that you were once my childhood friend, perhaps sampai sekarang, kot.🤔🤔

ok i have a friend, a childhood friend, namely Apip. Apip and i have nothing since we are friends, and yet still keep in touch through whatsapp, yahoo messenger, twitter ok what i'm trying to say is that the other day we had misunderstood or maybe it's only me la kot yang tetiba nak emo tak tentu pasal sebab kena tegur pasal benda baik. Such an emo wreckkkkkk

Actually the night before microb test, he replied my whatsapp story, not in friendly-way, i think so and he really made me cried like 2 hrs in the midnight! Nangis kat tangga asrama ala-ala org tengah putus-cinta sebab dia kata aku riak nak menunjuk, wth! 😟😟😟 Apip u memang nak tempah maut, kan but then im ok for the next day hiks, oh, i forgot to tell that i cried myself to sleep and woke up with puffy eyes. Hhuhuhu seb baik alya dengan intan masa tu tengah cari ilham kat library hahahaha


and the funny thing was that he texted me if i maafkan dia like 3-4 times! hihihi

Apip's 1st attempt: so mintak maaf lah, kalau buat kau terasa.
Apip's 2nd attempt: ok la ok la, sorry
Apip's 3rd attempt: third time, minta maaf
Apip's 4th attempt: ok, minta maaf, sorry

Then, Kereks: hmm iye
Apip: ok gudluck next paper

I dont take it serious when he did dakwah on me. yes, yes he's doing degree related to islamic which i think usuluddin la kot, kat universiti al-azhar. Asalnya cerita pasal salah paham tu mcm ni; 

i recited Quran Surah As-Safat between maghrib-isya' pastu teringat a piece of sticky note i've received from aiman syahirah. She wrote sweet writing about me and she would like to apologise if she had made mistakes in our friendship during in KMNS. Actually, i kept the sticky note in tafsir quran. I searched for it and found and decided to take a pic of it (ber-background,kan al-quran) and uploaded in whatsapp story, (macam throwback la kiranya ni) Then, Apip sengal sangat replied my story told that im not even proud with the quran rather than with the 'surat cinta' that aiman gave me;i think he assumed aiman syahirah is a boy la kot that's why he terjah i macam nak baham i. ok ok my mistake, encik apip

I pissed off and cursed him, alaa tahulah yang awak ni alim tapi tolong jangan jadi sarcastic sangat boleh, encik apip? hiks, saya tak marah naaa saya cakap jer, ok

Anyway, the ending was fine as we both still act usual like nothing happen because he's a one-of-a-kind friend of mine, smiley face!

Adel: Alhamdulillah cikgu, semua straight As kecuali dalam dua tiga orang 7A.
Subject: awak semua kelas apa eh, saya lupa??
Qama: Lily
Subject: ooh, yang awak tu?? Apa nama?? (he pointed at me and i were just like, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HEREEEE???!!!!!)

Ok this is climax of cerita cute,
Me: 8A
Subject: yeke, takcayelah, meh sini saya nak tengok slip awak.

So, i walked towards him and showed up my result slip and dia boleh sengih macam kambing kat situ.

K, tak baik mengumpat cikgu nanti ilmu tak berkat.

The excited part is that, HE TOUCHED MY RESULT SLIP AND I WERE JUST LIKEE, rasa macam nak pengsan je kat sini.

Subject: Tahniah, bagus3. Cikgu Rogiah mesti bangga *senyum*

P/S; to you i crush on, but never tell.

Dear Future Husband,


Yours truly,
Perfectly imperfect me

P/S: Dear myself, find Allah, then find yours

Hi, i'm back again, SUKA TAK?? SUKA TAK??? ok tak suka :(

It all started with fine monday morning, ada sorang kakak pengawas senior nih minta Musmay bertugas jadi emcee. since Musmay tak datang sekolah haritu (aih Musmay ni pun kalu nak cuti sekolah janganlah solo je, ajak aku sekali) pastu3 kakak pengawas senior kiteorg tadi tuu minta ain atiqah yang tengah blur ni gantikan Musmay. walawei! tbh, taktau pulak yang minggu tu ada hari koperasi sekolah, naseb baik Cikgu Maimun yang bertugas minggu tu. so, rasa seronoklah sikit nak handle since Cikgu Maimun dgn saya sangat serasi ala2 sweet de amor gituu :)

Part yang tak bestnya tu bila event yang nak kena handle minggu ni tak related langsung dengan Subject, lol. Maka tinggallah seketul ain atiqah keseorangan menguruskan majlis minggu koperasi sekolah lol. Anyways, everything went smooth cuz no one yang memberontak suruh habiskan cepat majlis. Hahahaha iye, saya tahu kita semua tak suka duduk lama2 kat perhimpunan dek sinaran matahari yang panas terik di dataran SMKPP.

Ok nak cerita sket pasal perkembangan stalking Subject. As usual we used to work together since im the one yang tolong pegang kunci comp lab. Muka nih juga yang dicari suruh simpan baik2 kunci comp lab dalam drawer dia. Pernah sekali tu menggelabah tak jumpa kunci comp lab, sampai turun perhimpunan cari ain atiqah, takut siot! Naseb baik jumpa kalau tak, habis kena hentam dengan cikgu. Lol

I personally can't handle myself since i'm currently experiencing heart palpitations whenever He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is around. My thoughts continually turn to him; every song reminds me of his face, his broad smile, his deep voice and know i've been dreaming about him. It's an ache that literally hurts my chest! I can't get over him in the hours and days at the school and i don't know what's more tragic that i keep looking for him wherever i go. It's not just infatuation; it's real love!

Physchologists say a crush only lasts for 4 months, but when feelings last longer, you are considered to be "in love".

source: factualfacts.com

Unrequited love is hell cuz all you do is spend your days thinking of someone who will never think of you. it all merged into one feeling of sickening agitation but yet, it was a fun distraction, eh boleh pulak. it was my bff, Musmay keep saying that, "it's such inappropriate for having that kind of wild feeling lah ain atiqah". She also thought that i'm being too obsessed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named since i've been through "typical crush behaviour" phases. ok let me be clear on that one by one.

I told Musmay, i wish that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will be going to teach our class next year – when all you really want to do is stare at his face every day. but it will be never happened since we have Cikgu Hadrah teaches us geography. FYI, it happened ONCE when he was being a sub. And there was a whole story behind it.

One day when i was out of the class, and the sub in. My heart pounded fast when i got to see, it was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named took over the class and all he did was returning back our marked exam papers by calling name each one of us to collect them on his desk. when my turn came, he did called me by the wrong name, Ain ATHIRAH instead of Ain ATIQAH .-.

Secondly, i get a little light-headed when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named walked past me in the hallway. Dia islamik giler weh, cuz all he did was lowering his gaze when he walked by any girls in the school. Err..sorry did i just look at you? Cuz i couldn't resist your charm! #cheesypick-upline

Thirdly, this is the most stupid thing i've ever done in my life! I started to look a ring on his finger to see if he's married! I dont want to jump into any conclusions but Musmay said 'the guy' is married and dah beranak-pinak dah pun. Alahai Musmay ni main taram jerrr, kan. As for me, when a guy wear a ring on, it could be a sunnah. Nak sedapkan hati lettew :p

Next, i tend to bring him up in conversations to the lilysters. Yup i did this most of the time cuz i'm interested to talk more about him as much as possible. And, dorang yang lain dah masak dah dengan perangai ain atiqah yang sorang nih.

This one will be going annoying and irritating since i asked around if anyone knows about his personal life. I play detective to know where he lives, where he comes from, is he a Kelantanese? And so on. These claims required further investigation when i've met my acquaintance schoolmate named Alya a.k.a the witness. According to her, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a friend of Alya's parents and they once met during an open house. Ouh yes, the witness said he lives somewhere in Desa Ayer Hitam which is far far away from my place 😢 but yet it's helpful enough. Thank you for your cooperation Alya!

Apart from that, Musmay got to see me slightly different macam tak stabil, overly excited, tak betul, terlebih energetic and whatsoever lah cuz i've got to talk to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, LIKE. EVERYDAY!!!!

Later, i slowly to realise that this is unrealistic and inappropriate (that's what ive been told by Musmay) cuz our age-gaps are too much different or else I'll have to be his 2nd wife which is mean becoming the third wheel in the relationship. NOOOOOOOO and finally i'll mourn my loss of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Lastly, i think that i need to write down about this just in case i forgot what i've been doing so far. Hahahaha let us wrap this up!

I've been reaaaaallly busy with school lately and i've tons of homework are killing me and such overlapping group work to catch up on, and i lead for my rumah sukan (rumah hijau) in maths science quiz feat Senior Sab plus i'm working on english short drama which is just around the corner, therefore i need to get myself fully prepared to act like real-life drama queen as an innocent Lisa in Rumplestiltskin.

Here goes a week off from school and away from that one, my eye candy.

And by that i meant 'i'm off from stalking'

The week has been going dull since he's a week off, perhaps need to attend those meeting and kursus out of Dengkil district and such. He probably might have to listen to my mini-rant cuz he forgot to hand over that bunch of keys of comp lab. As a result, the lilysters put blame on me cuz we become nomads for a week, move from one place to another since we cant get into 'your' comp lab untuk kesekian kalinya.

I know this is weird, but my hormones are going crazy.

It all started when i had some random talks with Mifit, Azizah and Fatin regarding the topic fangirling. and..yup! being 15 and all we do is fangirling over someone that doesn't even realise our existence. It was only me, myself is drowning deep into Adam's fandom whilst the trio are being K-pop fangirls ever since.


We kept rambling on fangirling til i saw my eye-candy on his way going to upstairs. Mifit asked me if something had bothered me from listening to her rambles. And i said yes, absolutely yes. The next question they asked me why i kept looking at the outside. MYGAWWD i found it so hard to resist his charm and i'd pretty much melt for his chinese-look but yet i couldn't spill it out.

"Ada crush kau ke kat luar??", kata seketul fatin. Pfffft fatin was right!

"Aku ada confession nih. Aku terrrrrsuka cikgu *** laahhh", i confessed.

All they did was, "euwwwww, geli do", "kau ni takde orang lain ke nak suka", "euww, orang tua jugak kau nak" with such disgust expression. bhahaahahaahahhahahahhahahaha! in fact that i've got to think twice before the confession session and yet i decided to be opened up with this kind of weird inner feeling with my lilysters.

Sebab dah kantoikan diri sendiri dengan dorang tapi still taknak satu kelas tahu, i referred him by the name 'Subject' in any conversation. The reason why i chose the name Subject..........


Recently, i got butterflies in my stomach since i've got to talk with Subject at the school lab FOR THE FIRST TIMEEE IN MY LIFE!

1st moment
The day went pretty much as usual. We had Pend. Islam extra class at 2pm in the comp lab. Since the school ended at 1.20pm i still had 40 minutes to spend. So, Fatin, Musmay, Farisya, Iffa, Ainul and i decided to take lunch at the school canteen and i bought myself a packet of buah jambu with asam serbuk as dessert. After 40 minutes plus, some of my classmates had prepared themselves with notes, modules, reference books and such but yet we had to wait up at the outside since we can't enter the comp lab without permission. Pastu, pastuu....boleh pulak Subject yang keluar dari comp lab masa tu.

Subject :Awak buat apa kat sini?
Adel: Kiteorg ada kelas tambahan cikgu
Subject: Kelas tambahan apa?
Adel: Kelas tambahan Pend. Islam
Subject: Kelas apa ni?
Qama: 3 Lily
Subject: Cemni, saya ada hal, saya pass kunci ni kat....

"Ain Atiqah, Ain Atiqah, cikgu", kata sekumpulan kanak-kanak ribena -Mifit, Azizah & Fatin

"awak pegang dulu kunci ni, nanti dah habis kelas, gi meja saya, simpan dalam drawer. Awak taukan cari tempat saya. Jangan hilangkan kunci ni, kalau hilang, nanti saya cari awak sampai dapat", kata seorang cikgu kepada seketul Ain Atiqah. 

Pfffft i didn't expect that i would have a conversation with Subject since he didn't teach my class. Tu first time dapat cakap dengan Subject even sekejap je cuz i thought that he was in rush since he had to attend meeting, lah kot. Kot ye kot. Thousand of thanks to these trio cuz they did promote myself to Subject bhahahaha. Malunyaaa hanya Allah jer yang tahu masa tu. Next!

2nd moment
Ini...yang paling gembira cuz i met him once again. It all started when i was about to get into the maths extra class. Adel asked me to remind our maths teacher, Tc Rogiah at her office since she was been late for 10 minutes. By the time Mifit and i went to the office, Subject was looking for me (that's what i've been told by Musmay since i wasn't in the class)

"Ain, Ain mana Ain? Pergi cari cikgu, kelas awak bising nih" -Subject 2013

And then, it was Adel telling him that, Mifit and i had went to office to settle down the class' management. When i came back, Adel asked me to go by myself informed him on what to do.

Me: Cikgu (berlagu).
Subjek: Ya saya?
Me: Cikgu sepatutnya hari nih kelas Tc Rohana tapi Tc Rohana takde. So, Ustazah Habibah kata Tc Rogiah yang cover. Saya dah cari dah Tc Rogiah tapi Tc Rogiah pun takde. So, sekarang nih kiteorg nak kena buat apa?
Subjek: Kamu pergi cari cikgu tu.
Me: (buat muka tak paham) Tapi masalahnya Tc Rogiah takde.
Subjek: Tc Rogiah? Maksud kamu Tc Rogiah Moin tu? Penolong Kanan tu? Dia kat bilik mesyuarat.
Me: Saya dah cari dah takde jugak. Tempat dia pun sama.
Subjek: Oh, dia pergi kursus.
Me: Yeke?
Subjek: (gelak sket) Kamu pergi office suruh dorang cover extra class hari ni dengan hari lain.
Me: okay

Eh, tak habis lagi eh. After the extra class, i had group work on oral practice with Musmay. When i was about to drink nearby the meja bulat, he called me, by saying Tc Rogiah was at her office.

"Ain, tu Tc Rogiah ade kat office", kata Subject kepada seketul Ain Atiqah.
"yup, ok", i said with broad smile.

Thank God, i've got to see you again, Subject :)

Is anyone here a Marooner?

i'm not sure if Maroon 5 fans are officially called Marooners cuz i know, only certain people used to call themselves by that name and it seems their fandom isn't as big as Selenator. 

Well Maroon 5 have Adam Levine as their vocalist and me as a fangirl but yet it still won't consider myself as Marooner cuz i never bought any Maroon 5 albums and also i'm not overly enthusiastic of Maroon 5 but only to their songs and handsome Adam Levine.

Ladies and gentlemen say hello to Adam :)

i'm sending kisses to my pretty ain atiqah